I WAS BORN FOR YOU: My Sister’s Keeper, a Movie Review

How would I feel if the only reason why I exist is because I will be used to give life to my older sibling? Would it be painful to know that I should have not existed if my sibling is well and good? On the part of the older sibling, will it give her happiness to know she’s recovering from her sickness while her younger sibling is slowly dying? This is how this inspirational story goes- an unconditional sisterly love.

Fitzgerald family :)

I watched the movie last Sunday, July 26 2009 at around 5 pm at the Sta. Lucia East Grand Mall. It was a short film yet full of lessons. Here’s a brief summary of the movie. The story started off with the family of Sarah Fitzgerald (Cameroon Diaz) and Brian Fitzgerald with their 2 kids, Jesse and Kate. They learned that Kate has leukemia. Kate needed a donor but no one in the family is off match to Kate so the doctor advised them to give birth to a child whom the doctor will make sure to be matched to Kate through a test tube procedure.

Anna and Kate :D

After donating Anna’s blood and bone marrow to her sister, it’s time for her to donate her kidney to Kate. Anna decided to sue her parents for medical emancipation and the right to decide how her body will be used. But that is not really Anna’s idea but of Kate’s because Kate wants to put an end to her sufferings. Kate wants to die. Anna won over the case and her kidney wasn’t donated then later on Kate died already. Her family moved on with their lives.

Kate with her parents =)


There’s nothing more sorrowful than to see my loved one suffers from a very deadly illness. The movie tapped my being again. It made me realize that life here on earth is very temporary. Whether we like it or not, He will take it from us. Kate’s life, like everyone else is not a permanent life given to us. Despite life’s obstacles, we should never regret every single minute that we spend with our family and friends.

But the bright side of that is the presence of our loved ones around who make us feel better when we’re very sick and down. The mere presence of Kate’s family, especially of her mom and Anna, is one big factor that keeps Kate going. No matter how extreme is the case of Kate, the love and sympathy of her family lightens and brightens up her days that are full of sufferings and pains.

The story also gave emphasis on the love of Kate’s parents. Although the decision to give birth to a child for the sake of saving Kate’s life is a bit wrong, I can still see the concern of the parents to all their children. Sarah and Brian Fitzgerald did all they can do to be able to prolong the life of Kate and ease the pain she feels.

This is a very inspiring story. I see myself years from now. A thought came to my mind. What if one day this thing also happened to me? What if I became like Kate or Anna, how will I face it? Will I give up or fight up to the very end? If this happens to me, I think I’d be more likely to be that of Kate. However, for me, life is beautiful and no one could make us realize this but our own selves.

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Lights Camera Action :D

That's me, manipulating the cam . Monitors on the side :D

Alex and I. First meeting for TV prod. Guinea pigs for the first class project, TV interview with visula interest :D

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I have realized a lot from the first group project in our TV Production class. For a television interview to be simple yet effective, few uncomplicated reminders are to be considered.

First, teamwork is an essential key to make a successful TV interview. Each person in the group plays a vital role. No task is of small amount. If one fails in the crew, everyone follows. Second, no idea and suggestion is bad. Hence, all thoughts and proposals regarding what could make the TV interview much better must be taken into consideration. To be able to come up with the most out-of-the-ordinary topic and production, it is important to brainstorm all potential thoughts and think outside of the box. Third, the topic to be discussed in the TV interview with visual interest must be arresting and attention-grabbing. TV programs must be appealing and interesting to the viewers so that they will be very satisfied after watching the show. Fourth, equipment like the 3 cameras, character generator, microphones, headsets, TV screens, lights, and computer must be checked ahead of time. This is to avoid disrupting the whole segment. Fifth, rehearsing the entire TV interview is also of great importance. As the saying goes, “Nobody may be perfect. But practice makes perfect”. To minimize inaccuracies or if possible, make the TV interview look natural, there should be a run through and practice of the dialogue and technicalities beforehand or as often as possible. Sixth, everyone in the team must be knowledgeable about the topic of the interview. This would be advantageous in coordinating the works altogether. When one is not completely familiar with the script and subject matter, the one assigned will be lost in manipulating the equipment during the recording itself. Seventh, speedy yet appropriate decision-making during the recording is a must. This is to avoid lapses and make the flow of the interview continuous. This is not only a trait the director must possess but everyone in the group. Eight, I handled camera #3 and was assigned as the switcher in the groups’ interview. In using camera # 3, I’ve found out that to be able to capture quality and not blurred shots; the camera must be hold at place to the subject which in this case is the interviewer. I find the zooming in and out task challenging especially when the director told me to close-up a particular object aside from the interviewer. To resolve that, I held the camera in place, zoom in and out slowly until I find the right focus for the object. Fortunately, I did it. But the director told me to zoom out and the one holding the camera #1 will be the one to do the task.
And lastly, I enjoyed being a switcher. It isn’t a trouble-free task at all. As a switcher, its foremost function is to consider the safety shot, cut at the right moment, and get variety of shots.

How we present, it is all pertinent. To use facilities imaginatively, convey ideas clearly and persuasively, is a matter of know-how. And know-how can be learned. Once we have conquered the initial awkwardness of TV production unfamiliarity, it will all be fun and fulfilling.

"AKO MISMO..." SO WHATTTTT?

Just last week, we had a presentation for our advertising class. Our group was assigned to give criticisms and state some revisions for the AKO MISMO ad campaign.

Honestly, I don't have any say to these kinds of "campaigns". However, while I was in the process of researching and gathering information regarding the campaign, I was quite awakened by the flaws of the ad itself.

This blog is not made to spread rumors and stuff like that.I believe this would also be for the betterment of the ad. :)

Here are some of my own observations with the content and the script of the campaign:

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A*K*O*

MISMO

CRITIQUES AND REVISIONS

1. The credentials of some of the personalities in the AkoMismo ad campaign are not that impressive and notable. Since it is an ad campaign, the people speaking in behalf of the campaign’s objective should have remarkable, inspiring yet truthful credentials so that the people will be moved to action. For it to be more persuasive, the credentials, for instance that of Chris Tiu- Basketball player, Maxene Magalona- Student and Edu Manzano- TV Host, these could be changed by adding more of their credentials, like Chris Tiu- Basketball player/Business man, Maxene Magalona – Student/Actress and Edu Manzano – Optical Media Board Chairperson/TV Host/Actor.

2. The AkoMismo ad campaign is created to move Filipinos to action. It is also a way to express our concern for our land and bring back the nationalistic value of every Filipino. One way to show that is through the use of our own language all throughout the ad. However, at the end of the ad campaign, the line, “Sign up and be counted”, is obviously in the English language. It can be revised to “Lumahok ka at kumilos para sa bayan mo.” or “Sumali at nang mapabilang.”

3. Futhermore, the line of Ely Buendia – Artist/ Musician, “Ako mismo ang susuporta sa freedom of expression…” used the English language. The statement can be changed by saying,”Ako? Sisiguraduhin kong malaya nating mapapahayag ang mga ideya natin…”

4. The pledge said by Aaron Dela Cruz – College Student in the AkoMismo ad campaign, which is “Ako? Hindi ako magba-blog ng makakasira sa bansa ko…” is not a so good word of honor. That particular oat values only the side of the Filipinos. The pledge and the ad campaign itself should not be biased and subjective. It can be modified by saying, “Ako? Pawang katotohanan lang ang iba-blog ko…”

Hey! Lemme Tell You This

June 16, 2009 - This is for our second writing exercise in our Journalism class. Time pressured or not, I think my writings are still the same :) CRAP! lol! Check this out! Comment! :) Wrong grammars? pretty good numbers of that :))

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People around me thought that I am a snobbish and shy type of person. But those people who have been my classmates and friends for quite sometime seem to know the real side of me, being friendly, talkative and confident enough. However, for this one person whom I have encountered just this semester of the school year, I'd like her to discover more of myself as she hones me to become a good and effective writer, hopefully,

I am a simple young woman who dreams of becoming a lot in the near future. I wish to do several things in my life which I've never done like sky diving, riding in roller coaster, bungee jumping and traveling abroad. I want to be the next Mel Tiangco or a dj in the radio. As for my presonality, I am really a bubly and happy type of school girl. I don't like to see people looking sad and dull. But sometimes, I also want to be alone and quiet at one place especially when I'm weighing decisions and trying to figure out what's wrong with my life at certain point.

Eating food every after an hour is like my most favorite hobby. I enjoy eating pasta, bread and chocolate but it seems like food nutrients aren't adequate to make me fat. I am not a very fashionable girl and only enjoys and feels comfortable and glam wearing pants and t-shirt.

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This isn't finished pala. Got a grade of 8/10. Good enough. I must write better next time :D

BE ELITE : JOIN C*CATT STREET!

This is my first newstory for our journalism course. Had fun writing :) Leave some comments! This would also be helpful in our (C*CATT's) information dissemination for the auds! Interested? READ AND DISCOVER! :D

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C*CATT Street photoshoot pics for 2008 C*CATTITUDE II Dance Concert :) From Ate Ria Abrera's SLR :D (I'm the one in off-shoulder stripes and curly hair :) and the one with cap on and gray vest :D

To become an epitome of an impressive dancer/performer with every spin of the head, wave of the arms, lock of the chest and stride of the feet is what C*CATT Street promise YOU.

2008 Valentines Day Perf :D

The official dance troupe of the Miriam College Communication Department, C*CATT (Creative Communication Artists and Talents Team) Street Elite Crew will hold its 2nd audition on Monday, July 20 2009 from 9am- 12nn and 1pm-5pm at the Paz Adriano Room104 (PA104). C*CATT Street, an all-girl hip-hop dance crew, already had its first try-out last June 15, 2009. However, due to the demands of some more interested students, they decided to organize a 2^nd screening.

“We opted to have another set of audition to accommodate more wannabes who will be trained to become distinguished dancers grooving to the beat as one team.” said Nikki Medina, C*CATT Street’s current president. “This is a perfect venue to reveal that dancing is not just a simple form of art but an outlet of creative self-expression, artistic communication means and holistic appreciation of Miriam College dignity,” added Medina.

The entire audition proper will be supervised by the said group together with an officer from the ComSoc (Communication Society), formerly called CAASOC (Communication Arts and Advertising Society). In the auditions, a 2-minute dance routine will be taught by the group with the ratio of one group member to five students. Each student is also required to execute a 1-minute dance routine the group asked them to prepare. They will also be encouraged to execute any stunts that they know. The group will evaluate the aspirants based on the following criteria: accuracy 25%, precision 25%, power 20%, character 15% and over-all impact 15%. For the students’ own safety, the group requests them to come in their most comfortable training clothes (rubber shoes, jazz pants, jogging pants and t-shirt). For the past six years, the audition has been open to AB Communication students alone but this school year, the group opens its doors to interested non-AB Communication students as well.

MAPUA CONCERT 08 AND CCATTITUDE CONCERT 08

Joining different hip-hop street dance battles in the Metro, carrying the most “Best in Costume” awards from different competitions and performing in various invitational guestings made C*CATT Street Elite Crew a remarkable troupe in and out of the school. Skechers Street Dance Battle, RX 93.1, ETC, Honda, Pringles are the dance contests the group have joined to name but a few. Outstanding alumni are Diane Medina, model, actress and ABS-CBN Banana Split former main stay and Patrizha Marie Martinez, former president and eldest daughter of Mr. and Mrs. William and Yayo Martinez. C*CATT is the only all-girl college team trained under Orange Dance Studio by Miss Jen Real-Lim, their choreographer. Indeed, the spirit of girl-power is evident in the group.

Audition passers will be informed by the group through SMS few days after the screening. See also C*CATT Street’s announcements on the school’s freedom board. For more information, visit their multiply site http://ccattstreetelite.multiply.com/ .

Now, do you have what it takes to dance with the winning women of C*CATT Street?! C*CATT wants you! See y’all glam ladies on this last call for aspiring members! Keep it phat! J

Can Stillness Mean Happiness? :D

I spent my entire life looking for approval. Beginning with school, it’s hammered into my head to follow. The entire society tells me to follow. Now that I am mature enough to think rationally and critically, can I seek for genuine bliss on my own? Can I set for myself what true happiness is all about? Can I do it my own way?

The environment I live in got itself in a big hurry and produced a lot of noise along the way. Aside from the noise emitted from sound devices, there are a lot of noise which are more distracting all over the place. Seems everyone today is on the go to some where, need to be listened to by a friend, or amused by an external source. We all seem in need of something with us to be able to do certain things, doing not just one thing at a time and in our term, it is like multi-tasking. The common folks cannot or will not walk, drive, shop, play, or eat without their favorite buddy; cell phone, I-Pod, or PSP. I am not against hi-tech gadgets made to improve our communication, and give listening or watching enjoyment with quickness and ease. I too make use of these technological devices. However, for me all is done in restraint.

It's ok to get quiet once in a while because there are a lot of possibilities we can see and get in being quiet. We live in a busy world where nature is vibrant, plenty and wonderful. Most of the time, we forgot the outstanding benefits we can get from being one with nature.

I find genuine bliss in getting quiet, in simply being one with nature. I think that bliss for me is not only when I am away from the noise of the society but far away from the temporary, external and physical happiness of the world. These are things like hanging out with friends, going out to shopping, eating at my favorite restaurant, etc. These are nothing but shallow things which do not really touch the internal being of a person. Furthermore, these are not eternal things for it will be forgotten once the person owning that experience grew old and died. Listening to birds chirping or wind blowing through the trees is absolutely astounding. Simple standing on our rooftop while looking at the mountains and skies gives me a different kind of feeling. How long has it been since I allowed myself to completely get away from the strains of today and attach myself with nature. I’ve been very busy especially when second year college started. Connecting with the nature has allowed me to tap into my true self, and therefore better appreciate certain phases of my life such as love, modesty, clemency and integrity. It has awakened myself and has cleared my mind with the bad intentions I have had before. During the times when I find myself very lost because of the things that are happening around me, it is the most perfect time that I can reflect and discern on the things which I think can give me the true and real happiness I have been seeking for. To find peace deep inside myself is the happiest experience I can ever have.

Nature in its innocent form is all about a more advanced form of living. As spiritual beings, we're no different; we all want to have more, to become more, to experience more. All of us are all the same. And the path to go to that stage of contentment, to live a life of radiance, is to mature in accord through mind, physical body and soul. This is very important as we commune with nature. I cannot achieve true happiness by only cultivating one part of my being and yet disregarding the other two. For me to know my full capability, I must be growing in all three aspects of my life. All continues to be an excellent and self-rewarding experience for me, and calmness for the soul.

If this is new for you, or if it has been a while, begin by simply being the viewer. Try this one day. Do not bring anyone. Go somewhere, a place where there is nothing that could distract you. Observe nature where life is revealing right before our eyes, and where all is happening with unproblematic convenience and without obstacles. We will want to detach ourselves physically far away from the cellular phone, desktop, television, acquaintances, and then allow ourselves to let loose emotionally, letting go of all the bad thinking, which piles up our skulls. You will discover something you haven’t known before. Each time I do this I see myself as the individual I want to be, not the woman who has struggles in her life. My life becomes a blank canvas and I am the one holding the brush.

What is the lightest and most quiet feeling that a person can ever feel in her life? I think it is to help other people in need. Doing things for her and for other people without any bad intentions within herself is indeed the lightest work to do on earth. And if you’re going to ask me where is genuine happiness and bliss in that scenario, I strongly believe that it is something hidden from what the eyes can barely see and what all the senses can barely perceive.

When I go back to usual busy days and face the challenges, it’s a whole different chance. Because of the bliss that this quietness brings me, I find it very happy and very fulfilling to help and do things for other people without any hidden agenda. To simply help and do favor for another person without worrying much if I’ve pleased the other is something very rewarding for me. For instance, sharing a smile with a stranger, helping someone without an expectation of returned favor, sharing my time and my happiness are just some of the few that I can least do.

We are so concerned about the society's estimation on us that most of us end up in making ourselves suffer. It shouldn’t be the scenario all the way. If you go ahead in your life without thinking of what others think and do things which bring true happiness to you, that’s what life is all about. But remember to take note that the things that give us real happiness should be the things that will not harm or bring chaos to others. We simply have to live in unison with one another. Doing things only to make others happy, thinking that to be a great thing and achieving contentment on that means nothing. No one in this universe could make others happy without themselves being happy. Only our own self can tell us whether what it is that will make and give us our real happiness in life. If finding peace and silence first and then acting upon what is needed to be done can define what real happiness for me is, whether it is something awkward for other people, I will not mind what they will say. It is my own way of seeing through things and finding for that one single thing I have been yearning for, which is true happiness.

Take a break from life. After all, it's your life and you deserve the best. Know for yourself what is the most pertinent, and do that to your living. Only you can know what’s best for yourself. All I want continues to show itself in my life, through hoping, connecting with nature, and in being calm and getting silent. J

Advertisement Of My Taste :D

We don't have scanner at home. I wasn't able to put here the exact print ad of Marlboro but that ad is somehow the same with these two other ads I've researched on Google. Btw, I saw that ad which I like from the book "100 Great Advertisements" :)

Out of the number of print ads I have researched on magazines, books and flyers, this straight-forward yet thorough advertisement of Marlboro cigarette caught my attention. Reading the descriptions and information written within the print advertisement, it completely gives a whole picture of what the product is all about, its features and value, without offensiveness and arrogance towards its competitor brands. Together with the minimalist approach in the layout, the advertisement managed not to waste words and not to discuss too much over the readers’ heads. I think that the words, phrases and adjectives were carefully chosen as to make the advertisement more effective and sufficient. With the informative layout of the advertisement, I believe that it appeals to both women and men although the advertisement only used a big picture of a masculine American cowboy, to be exact. The heading fell logically into place in reverse within the picture area. One thing that is amazing about this advertisement is the major emphasis it has given to the cigarette itself although it is endorsing the new packaging as well. The only thing that I think is lacking in this print advertisement is the presence of the health reminder, “Cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health.” I believe that an efficient and valuable advertisement is an advertisement that cares for the welfare and well-being of its customers. I strongly believe that Marlboro cigarette sells a lot in the Philippine market not only because of its cheap price and good taste (for smokers’ point-of-view of course) but because its advertisements are simple and detailed.

This ad is an enough evidence to say that advertising today is indeed a rich and big business. Almost all products and services are endorsed through print ads, TV and radio commercials. Entities are sold by enticing patrons with poor women and men posing and staring at us and pleading us to consume the item. Some are sold by showing the body of a sexy, beautiful woman in leopard-print bikinis which look very appealing to men. While others are sold by pets and children that look so kind and cute that we just have to buy the product. These techniques and traps are what make the wealthy business people even better-off. In some ways, these kinds of ads continue to allure us not with the product they offer but with the object they use in selling their products. If we scrutinize the advertisements, we will see that companies sell the same product to varied costumers using different ads. Varied product ads are made to meet the varied needs and wants of the consumers.

An advertising industry that strictly follows ethics, uses appropriate object/subject and makes use of highly-advanced advertising methods – these are just some of the qualities I want advertising to uphold in the near future. As we can see today, most of the advertisements use women as sex objects or children as improper subjects and input tag lines that are double-meaning. I’d like advertising to be wholesome but still earning a lot. I believe that upright ads deserve more than those less moral ads we have these days. As a future advert, I think I/ we can give more focus on the technicalities because someday consumers are better informed than ever before, with the result that some of the traditional methods of advertising simply no longer work.

I've written this paper for our advertising class this semester where in we're asked by our prof to choose a print ad that we like or dislike :D

A Letter To A Debutant :D

I wrote this for the birthday of my second bestfriend last July 21, 2008 :)

Shoot! It’s your day.How does it feel to be in the last stage of being a minor? How does it also feel reaching this far? Wo0oh! Hahaha Now you know the feeling that we’re not getting any younger. At Last, you’re of legal age and so am I. Hehehe since it’s your day, I will shower you with sweet acclaims and praises! Naks! I will be so nice to you in this very moment in time. Just this time! Hihihi I have told you this before. You have a very, very special space and place in my heart! I love you my friend. For that, let me give you rationales why I effin adore you:

I love you because you’re a good person to love. Hahaha! Ask Ate rikki. She must be very familiar with the line. Hehehe. No! It’s true. You’re a very pleasant person to love. No one would ever regret knowing you, either a friend or a lover. You’re good in all sense because you also make my day right and you are…. are.. Simply irresistible! Wahaha Wahehe There’s no harm in loving you. (Just the snoopiness of the people around) *kidding*

I love you because you’re a patient listener. I do not know if you’re just a great pretender whenever I am telling senseless and petty stories but if you are, you’re effin good! J But I hope you indeed listen not just with ears but with the ears of your heart w0ooh!

I love you because of your weird and peculiar personality. Often times you’re quiet and hushed then suddenly, you become like a kid minding your dorky and embarrassing stuffs. In time you’re boyish and in a minute, you’re all girly! Hahaha I am sort of confused with your identity. It’s indeed a crisis.

I love you because you’re a nicer version of me. I never thought that I will find a complement or a supplement of me. hahaha We may not have lots of commonalities but I believe, whether or not, we’ll click But everyone knows you’re nicer hahaha

I love you because there’s always something new each time we meet. There’s always something new to talk about, laugh about and get pissed when we talk. We share gossips and all. Often times, we’re so casual when we talk each other but in those times, have you ever felt the air along with those civil talks? Hahaha! There are sprinkles of happiness Hahaha. Believe it or not, you’re my best bud next to Thal

I love you because you’re not afraid to be you. (Although some important people in your life may not give worth to it). But swear, I do this is what makes me secure. When you’re being yourself, I feel comfortable being myself too. There are countless good points in you, really. But I know these already make you feel super flattered. Anyway, you’ve been such a good girl friend to me. I don’t know if I’ve been a good friend to you. I am not a very expressive or touchy-feel type but I do care a lot about you Angela.

I love you because you’re very accepting of people. I don’t know if in this long you have accepted me yet but I believe you already did You don’t get all “yuck or jologs” with my rants and you don’t look at me in a demeaning way. You’re still there to be my super extra special friend despite my not-so-good attributes

I love you because you care so much about me. I don’t know. I woke up one day with this feeling that however I justify that I am more caring than you are, times give me moments of realization that it was really you who is a lot more caring than me. You never fail to make me feel safe and secure

And lastly, I love you because of your cute and funny face. You always say that you’re not as good-looking as to other people but believe when I say that you’re face is the CUTEST AND PRETTIEST face I’ve ever seen on earth. I can easily distinguish Angela from other Angelas. You’re the living legend

HAPPY DEBUT :D

Protecting Myself Is Not The Same As Saying I'm Guilty...

This is a blog item I've drafted last April 11, 2008. I edited some parts to make the message clearer and to lessen some grammatical errors (I hope) :|


It was a coincident. I didn’t really intend to recall all the bad things that had happened on that day last year. Maybe it was destiny already that brought me out to say my side and defend myself from all the wrong perceptions and thoughts you guys have on me. I was really saddened by the feed backs I heard and I cannot take being talked about or being thought of things which aren’t really true.


I thought everything was alright when I stated my side during that day. I thought everyone understood that it isn’t really my fault. I was set-up. I thought that you sympathize with me as how you sympathize with the other people involved. I thought my name was cleared from the moment we went out from the place and leave the entire occurrence that really shocked us all. And now I realized, as I come close to the end of this particular paragraph, all my statements above start with the phrase "I thought". And once I again, I thought you've forgiven me. However, I was wrong.

The issue didn’t stop there and as to what I've learned from those people who believe in me, everybody still feels the same thing about me. They think the same way and look at me with rages in their eyes. Those prejudices hurt me so much to the point of losing my sense of belonging and feeling the pain of not being listened and heard regarding my side. I feel so down because people tend to accuse me of things I didn't really do. You guys prime the conversation saying that it’s impossible that the thing was simply put by the woman and that there’s a greater possibility that the other thing is with me as well. You know how it hurts to be accused with the things you really did not do at all? Of course, I also understand the feeling of the victim but being blamed with the act is much more painful because all people’s eyes were on me as they watch and interrogate about the crime they thought I'm into. Bad words, negative perceptions, show-offs, accusations, being talked about and most especially, SILENT TREATMENT hurt the most. All along, I thought people are kind to me. But, one day, I’ll find out that they are just being plastic to me. People ceased being close to me because at the back of their minds is the incident that had happened. I cannot blame you for seeing things like that but I just hope that you would also understand my part. As what I’ve always said, I did not do the things you thought I did. I said this before and I will keep on saying this, only heaven knows what's true. I know that this might not have an effect on you guys but I know for a mere fact that you are understanding enough that your eyes will be further open to what is real. I just stated what I really feel here because I don’t want to be stabbed on my back. We are friends and sisters before these things had happened and I hope that we could restore the friendship we had before. I hope that this won’t be another venue for you guys to talk about these things further and further and just worsen the situation instead of finding resolution for it. Thank you so much for those who will understand, but for those who still think the same, I hope you would try to understand more and throw that angry feeling of yours away. :|